Grindstone musings

I’m sure, somewhere in there s dusty collective of my thoughts I’ve written about falling into this career. About just finding myself in a specialit through the result of an experience or connection  as opposed to a planned choice. I’m happy with that 99% of the time, but when my nose is pushed that little too hard against the grind stone I regret it and wish I had a plan, because surely I wouldn’t be in the same place I am now… 

I know there are huge holes in this theory. I know it’s rubbish because it takes me a day or two to reflect and be thankful for those twists of fate because, wow this is is fun! Just sometimes I need to push back away from the grindstone to see it. So the next is a snap shot of thoughts evolved from the grindstone whir…

Once again, I complete a week with an overwhelmingly desire to wave the white flag….signal to my corner to throw the towel in and just walk away.

If you are working anywhere near health care at the moment it feels like the world you work in stopped some time in September 2021 and that every day since is Groundhog Day.

The checklist for each day goes something like..

Ambulances queuing outside ED. Check

Patient’s medically ready for discharge still waiting on a bed in the community. Check.

Wards with bays closed or completely closed with cases of COVID-19. Check..

Short on staff. Check

Trust working at Opel 4, still. Check

Urgent meeting in diary to enact a change today (whilst last week’s changes are still written in wet ink). Check.

Usual list of business as usual workload shelved to accommodate the urgent and can’t wait demand. Check.

Back to back meetings leading up to the 40 minute meeting over lunch to plan healthy workplace. Check.

Meeting to feedback to partner agencies on why business as up work is unexpectedly not complete yet. Check.

And on it goes. Day after day. I’m always impressed, amazed and energised by teams who have been able to create something new, finish a project and feel like they are making a difference when I feel like I’m making origami models using damp toilet roll…

It’s like working in an environment themed on a mash up of the films Groundhog Day and Falling Down directed by Terry Giiliam and starring a cast who, with no prediction or ability to replace are taken off set for a week. Oh, and when they return the script has changed, the focus has changed but every day the outcome is the same.

No surprise that this was written pre holiday time. Rant over. I’m off to somewhere to sit in a field with my family. see you on the other side of the grindstone.