Sorry, I watched “Yesterday“ this week. Memories of Liverpool, singing loudly on my way home various Liverpudlian and Irish songs has been flooding my brain since. There might be a few more music titled blogs this week.
This is my first week off in a while. Had lots of days off, don’t get me wrong, but a week, with sunshine and all of us resting (no being a teacher for my wife) is feeling great.
It’s day 3 of being off, a Thursday and I’ve put a lot of effort into winding down. Running, cycling and pottering in the garden. It’s been a bit rubbish at times but mostly good.
Yesterday, we went to the beach. Long ride along quiet tracks and roads to find the most secluded place to cool off and dip our toes. We set off at 4 to avoid crowds and to make it easier we kept to the Stour valley way, great scenery and views with flat, flowing cycling. Great for allowing the brain to unfreeze, to talk about issues without too much depth with all of us able to listen and contribute.
My younger teen, who detests cycling until he is cycling, opened up telling me how he loves it as it allows him to plan his next build on Minecraft. A very good sign.
My eldest as it confirms his fitness and loves going fast on his gravel bike.
My wife just loves the chance to change the scenery, to not be in the confines of a house.
But all of us as it lifts our hearts.
A sea view or one from the top of a big hill have always been important to me. Whenever I’ve felt crowded in with all my thoughts competing for air time, a wide open view has given me perspective and a chance to work it all through. So, standing on the beach looking to a point where the horizon is the only thing that stops me seeing further…a thought came to me.
Whilst I’ve been working, spinning backwards and forwards to the hospital, life at home has kind of been paused.
Where their have been massive changes in the Trust where I work. Long transitions for patients becoming unwell, admitted and then going home. Whole wards changing from solely looking after patients with Covid19 to becoming non Covid19 areas. Lots of cleaning. Action card writing. Team pressures, illness, tears and laughter. Actually what’s going on outside the hospital, for my little family has effectively been paused.
I’m almost living in two alternate universes.
No morning battles to get the boys school ready. No weekly rugby matches and training. No weekly club runs. No weekly farmers markets. No family birthday celebrations or just because gatherings. No social parties, even me, an INFJ, are missing some element of these… All of our usual markers of growth, change and seasonal events have all stopped.
Yet my work life is shifting with such pace its hard to keep up.
I need to make sure that one is able to keep up and the other allowed to slow down. We need to live in both worlds equally in order to avoid them pulling apart.
Standing in shorts. With my feet on warm sand and in refreshingly cold sea water the view I could see made me think… Its nearly June. Its nearly Summer.
Like the great man wrote… Nobody told me there’d be days like these, strange days indeed.